A recent Harvard Business School Working Knowledge article, “Online Match-Making with Virtual Dates,” explains how virtual dating is a better way of getting to know someone than emailing and IMing. Academics Jeana H. Frost, Michael I. Norton and Dan Ariely looked at online dating and how it can be improved. After interviewing online daters they…
How to trump being dumped
To trump: outshine, outclass, upstage, eclipse, surpass, outdo, outperform; beat, better, top, cap; be a cut above, be head and shoulders above, leave standing. Yesterday, a new friend told me he’d been dumped by his last sweetheart, and was still stinging from it many months later. Me: What was the reason for the breakup? He:…
Husband in training
Fifteen years ago, a guy pal 10 years my junior was bemoaning that he wanted to be married. Really wanted to be married. I asked him some key questions, then announced my diagnosis: He needed to know how to act like a husband. Then the women he dated would see he was ready for marriage….
“Is that so?” — A lesson in non-attachment
The Zen story goes: In a mountainside village, a teenaged girl got pregnant. She was so terrified to tell her parents the truth, she told them the father was an old monk living nearby. When the child was born, the outraged parents took the baby to him and said, “This baby is yours,” and gave…
Suffering is optional
When our dating activities don’t go as we’d like, it is easy to get into a funk. We can drive ourselves crazy wondering what is wrong with us that we can’t seem to attract anyone at all, or the men we do attract are disinterested in a relationship, have other afflictions, or we aren’t drawn…
What would you do if you were brave?
At the beginning of this new year, I think this is a question to ask ourselves about dating for ’07. My friend, the amazing musical artist Jana Stanfield, created a song around this question. “If I Were Brave” goes, in part: What would I do if I knew that I could not fail? If I…
Reflections and resolutions
This is the time of year we look back at what we’ve learned and accomplished and look forward with plans for what we want to improve. Here are my dating reflections and resolutions. Reflections — dating lessons learned in ’06 While my dating quantity has slowed, my quality has improved. I continue to meet some…
The “pound-dog” syndrome in dating
Have you noticed that dogs and cats adopted from shelters into good, loving homes are often very affectionate with their new owners? Many animals adopted from the pound have been neglected or abused. If they haven’t been abused beyond repair, when they get around kind, loving folks they respond similarly. I’ve seen this in humans…
Does your date share your world view?
Many months ago, I was sharing with a gal pal how I was smitten with the guy I was seeing. After stammering to answer when she asked why I liked him so much, she eventually asked, “Does he share your world view?” I stopped in my tracks. It was a question I hadn’t thought about….
What’s your definition of dating success?
For many women the answer to this question would be, “To find my next love/husband/mate.” I invite you to consider another possible definition. If someone were to ask you, “What is your definition of success in life?” you would probably not answer, “To find my way to death.” Both definitions focus on the end result,…
Approaching dating as a project
The other day Internet Guy and I talked about the process of dating. He said he’s been put off by women who are assertive (aggressive?) about their dating time line. On the first date, he’s been told by more than one woman that she wants to be married within the year and begin a family…