You may be familiar with the poem “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson (pictured at right). In the poem, Ms. Nelson concisely illustrates how we make choices, have an unpleasant experience, and blame others. Then we learn from our experiences, take responsibility for our choices, and ultimately make different…
Having a SNORgasbord with your sweetie
You’ve been dating the same guy for a while. You’ve decided it is time to have a sleepover. You follow the rules set forth in “Sleepover do’s and don’ts.” You’re snuggled in his arms, loving the closeness. You begin to drift to slumberland until … he starts snoring in your ear. And not just a…
What’s your idea of boyfriend responsibilities?
“Boyfriend responsibilities” are not the same as “marital duties,” but the latter can be included in the former. My sweetie and I were discussing boyfriend responsibilities during his visit this week. After he returned home he apologized for not being more cognizant of his boyfriend responsibilities. He knew my garage door opener needed a minor…
Do your friends birddog for you?
By “birddog” I am not referring to Labrador Retrievers, English Pointers, or German Shorthaired Pointers. However, I am referring to their ability to find and point out what you are looking for. The verb “birddog” is common in sales. When someone birddogs for you, s/he is providing you leads to prospects. When I was president…
Makeover miracle worker
Sometimes in dating we begin to doubt our attractiveness, especially if we have a series of first dates and no second ones, or it seems difficult to get even a coffee date. I believe most women think they are plainer than they are, as I said in “You are (probably) more attractive than you think…
The date relationship test
I’ve discovered a key relationship test. This one is guaranteed to tell you what you need to know about your guy, so I recommend using this test early in the relationship to decide if you want to keep seeing him or not. What is the test? Picking a DVD together at Blockbuster. Why is this…
What’s your definition of a PDA?
No, I’m not talking about a Personal Digital Assistant, like a Blackberry or Palm. I’m referring to Public Displays of Affection. In online profiles people often say they are comfortable or like PDAs. I state this in mine. But I’ve learned that people have different definitions of this term. For some, it means hand holding,…
Be willing to retry activities you think you don’t like
Part of the fun of dating is trying new things that your date suggests. If you have the attitude of “I don’t like that” even though you haven’t tried it for 10, 20, or 30 years, you’ll kill the enthusiasm your date has for planning activities. And you’ll deprive yourself of expanding your horizons. Let’s…
Beyond getting lucky: Boomer dating tips that will make even leprechauns leap for love
So you’ve been unlucky in love. You think maybe this St. Patrick’s Day the luck of the Irish will rub off on you. But you’re not really interested in getting “lucky” with a one-night stand. You’d like more. You’d like a long-term relationship. So how do you begin? Get out your lucky charm — you!…
Do you like who you’re being when with your date?
People often use the phrase, “He made me feel (bad, stupid, ugly, fat, angry, good, sexy, pretty).” The truth is, no one makes you feel anything. You choose to feel that way. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one makes you feel inferior without your consent.” And that goes for any other emotion. However, you can react…
What’s your communication compatibility?
For 2.5 days I visited a relative I love dearly. However, it drove me crazy that she incessantly second guessed what I was doing. When I was packing, she suggested other ways to pack. She asked questions that I thought were superfluous (e.g., “What did you have for lunch?” “Will you and your boyfriend get…