A guy begins with 100 units. He can add to these units by doing good things (e.g., calling when he says he will, being chivalrous, suggesting activities he thinks I’d like, bringing small gifts, remembering info from previous conversations), smiling, making me laugh, having a good vocabulary, using proper grammar, dressing in clean, appropriate clothes,…
Dating as a job interview
Early on, I scoffed when I was told men see dating as a job interview. How could finding love be similar to finding a job? But then a guy recited his resume to me. I learned where and when he went to school, his major, and a litany of his jobs, including dates and companies….
Ambivalence
Ambivalence is the bane of the dating world. I’ve had plenty of pleasant dates with guys who were smart, educated, successful, attractive yet I felt if I saw him again, fine; if not, fine. I debated with myself whether I’d accept a second date or not. On the one hand, there was nothing odious or…
Good conversation is the foundation of great dating
One of the things that has stood out for me in interactions with the last four potential suitors is that guys (at least the ones I've encountered) don't know how to make conversation. I'm not just talking chit chat, but any kind of give and take. And that is precisely what is missing — give…
Pictures: To post or not to post — that is the question
At lunch today, a single friend was lamenting the challenge of finding Mr. Right. In her early 40’s, never married, educated, intelligent, funny and beautiful, she wants to have a family and is feeling the pressure. When discussing online dating sites, she said she doesn’t post her picture because she wants men to be attracted…
A tale of two phone calls
Yesterday I had a first phone call with a potential date. While his profile was refreshing and intriguing, the conversation was strained. I tried to pull him out by asking questions related to his profile comments. Although he’d initiated contact with me within 24 hours of the call, he asked me nothing about my profile…
Does he invite you to his place?
Yesterday a friend called: “I have a new lesson about dating.” She’s been dating longer than I have so I was interested in what new wisdom she’d gleaned. “Spill,” I demanded. “Before you get too involved with someone make sure you go to his home. If he doesn’t have you over, he may have another…
One-date wonders
You know how some groups are called “one-hit wonders” because they had one hit song and never again appeared on the Billboard charts? I have my dating version of that — one-date wonders. These are guys who after one date were at the top of MY chart, but we didn’t see each other again. Luckily,…
Dating karma
I believe what goes around comes around. How you treat others is how you will be treated. Of course, there are always exceptions — you were cranky with someone and she went out of her way to be nice. Or you were nice, and he was mean. But generally, I believe if you are polite,…
Truth is stranger than fiction
I have had a few strange encounters during my dating adventure. None of them I could have imagined. Today I was contacted by a priest! His picture showed him in black priest attire (what is that called? Vestments? Cassock?) and white collar! I assume he is Episcopalian, but who knows? It reminded me of some…
Becoming smitten with the fantasy
I’ve been surprised when men become smitten with me without yet meeting me. Perhaps we’ve had some interesting emails and phone calls, and they begin professing their love — or lust — for me. It’s happened enough times, I’ve decided they fall for the fantasy. When I was first dating, it happened to me. Now…