I was lamenting — OK, complaining — to a male friend the other day about how men have double standards. They want someone who is “slim, fit, athletic, toned” when they themselves have not seen the inside of a gym or done any physical activity for years. I am always surprised when I meet a…
Dating after 40
You are (probably) more attractive than you think you are!
It seems that people have a mismatch on their expectation of attractiveness. The stereotype is that a man wants (and often gets) a woman who is much more attractive than he is. Women often put money, status, demeanor and sense of humor ahead of attractiveness, when looks are often at or near the top of…
Be careful of being smitten
As I was enthusiastically describing to a friend my fondness for my newest gentleman caller, she asked “Are you smitten?” I pondered, then replied, “No, enamored.” We then discussed the difference. The dictionary describes smitten as “To affect sharply with great feeling; marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness.” Enamored: “To inspire with love; captivate.” “Smitten”…
What do men look at in your profile?
Yesterday a dating friend told me what he thinks men look for in women’s profiles. First, your picture. If he likes your face, he’ll look for one that shows your body. If he likes your body type, he’ll read more. After body, he looks for height, as he likes taller women. Then he’ll look at…
A favorite question to ask
Dr. Phil says we don’t ask the right questions when determining if someone might be a good match for us. I’m sure he’s right. I now have a list of questions I *wish* I’d asked, which I’ll post later. One of my favorite questions to ask tells me a lot about the man. I explain…
When it clicks, throw out some of your criteria
I met a wonderful man online 10 days ago. He is successful, intelligent, funny, gentlemanly, worldly, interesting, communicative, educated, considerate, articulate, complimentary, shares his feelings, and is a great conversationalist. So far, we share the values we’ve discussed. We have similar political views and philosophies about life. We are both small business owners. We talk…
50 ways to leave your lover? 4 ways NOT to leave your suitor
If you know it isn’t a good match, you owe it to him to tell him and then either move on or become friends. But do so graciously, respectfully and gracefully, no matter what. Here are four ways NOT to let him know. Via email — if you’ve dated him more than a few times,…
Have a good memory to avoid repeating mistakes
Today a nice-looking man emailed me. Based on his profile, he would be someone I would be interested in getting to know. He met most of my criteria. However, as I looked at his picture, I felt I had seen it before. Had he appeared in my matches before? If so, I would have contacted…
Don’t give your phone number too soon
In talking to a potential suitor yesterday, I learned that a woman should not give a man her phone number too quickly. When I asked why, he said, “It makes her seem too cavalier about it. I think she must give it to everyone this quickly, so I don’t feel special. I’d rather wait until…
Playing the online dating game
I got winked at today by someone whose profile was without a picture. In fact, in place of the picture the dating site says “Ask for a picture.” However, his profile says “I care whats [sic] inside not the cover and its important that the first thing her email says is not send me a…
Don’t think you are damaged goods
When you reenter the dating world at middle age, it is easy to focus on what is wrong with you. Your body is not as firm and lithe as it was in your 20’s. You have wrinkles, perhaps some cellulite, maybe some gray hair. You probably don’t have as much energy as you used to,…