Another Internet dater shared that a guy she’d met online called and set a coffee date at 1:00 the following Monday. A little later, he called her again, apparently thinking she was a different woman, and set a 3:00 coffee date for the same day. She was incensed. She told him off and canceled both…
Do you tell suitors how to make you happy?
My friend Bruce says most women don’t know how to express how a man can make her happy. Women commonly say they want nebulous characteristics, like successful, strong, communicative, fun. A woman’s profile often says she wants a long list of nearly impossible attributes. A man begins to read the superman-like list and moves on…
Feeling violated
This posting has nothing to do with dating. But it is fresh on my mind. Yesterday, I did some errands midday for 2 hours. When I arrived home, the back door had been kicked in. I called the police and they searched the house. No one was inside. My laptop, some cash, my wedding ring…
Are you a good verbal hugger?
A verbal hug is a sincere acknowledgment. The usual result is that the receiver feels good. It’s similar to a physical hug, but there’s no touching — except the recipient’s heart is often touched. You embrace him with your words. We all like sincere compliments, as long as it’s not overdone. A relationship is built…
Dating requires risk taking
Many women don’t want to get back into the dating scene because they know it will require them to take some risks: being rejected, getting a broken heart, being hurt. But without risks in life, rewards are small. If you want to live completely within your comfort zone and not press your limits, you will…
The “Better Than Nothing” guy
In my friend Susan Page’s bestselling book, If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever she discusses the “Better Than Nothing” (BTN) partner. A BTN is someone you know isn’t “the one,” yet you hang onto him because you feel it’s better to have someone…
When do you tell your date about irritants?
There seem to be several camps on this: Immediately when the annoyance happens, even on the first date. Say something so he can modify his behavior. No matter how small the irritation, you should say something when it happens. Not on the first date, unless the behavior is egregious (blowing his nose in the cloth…
Being seduced by what he is over who he is
I admit it. I’ve been so enticed by what a man is that it’s clouded my judgment about who he is. When dating the crazy psychiatrist, I adored when he consulted the pharmacist about what over-the-counter remedy would reduce my cold symptoms. I loved telling my friends that I was dating a doctor. Shallow, I…
He wants romance; you want friendship
One of the hardest parts of dating is when one of you is interested romantically in the other, but it’s not reciprocated. Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of “Let’s just be friends,” it’s never easy to deal with. Here’s my most recent trial with this situation. Two years ago, we dated for…
Assume there are other women
Most of us who employ online dating adopt a “don’t ask, don’t tell” philosophy about dating multiple people simultaneously. At least until we’re ready to get more serious. When I am seeing a few guys, I don’t ask the date I’m with if he’s seeing others because I don’t want him asking me. I assume…
The sexual audition
Some people feel it is important to discover if you are sexually compatible before investing a lot of time developing a relationship with someone. Others feel that sex is something that should happen after a firm foundation of trust and caring has been developed. If you are in the first camp, then your first time…