Dr. Phil uses the term “a soft place to fall” to express a safe space to be vulnerable. He frequently asks troubled couples if they each provide a soft place to fall for the other. When you’ve dated a guy for a little while, do you feel you can be vulnerable with him, admitting your…
Do your activity preferences match your guy’s?
Are you clear on how much you like to weekly participate in activities with a sweetie? How much alone time do you want/need? How much time do you want weekly/monthly to spend with your friends and/or family without him? And when you’re with your guy, optimally how many times a week do you want to…
When midlife dating is like high school
Perhaps you haven’t dated in a while and now you’re beginning to go out. You meet a guy who seems great and he seems to like you too. You have a good time together. Suddenly you find yourself smitten. If he’s said he’ll call you tomorrow afternoon, you wait around the house all afternoon and…
Review of “If the Buddha Dated”
If the Buddha Dated: Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Sophia Kasl. This book was recommended by several people, as they said the philosophies were similar to what I espouse in this blog. They were right! Of course, I enjoyed reading it as Ms. Kasl and I have a similar view…
Are parts of you excellent?
Ashleigh Brilliant writes clever sayings that make you laugh or think. Part of his, well, brilliance is that the sayings are limited to a maximum of 17 words. He is one of the most widely-quoted living writers, and also the highest-paid (per word). One of my favorite Pot Shots (which his musings are called) is…
Are you dating the same guy in different bodies?
You may be familiar with the poem “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson (pictured at right). In the poem, Ms. Nelson concisely illustrates how we make choices, have an unpleasant experience, and blame others. Then we learn from our experiences, take responsibility for our choices, and ultimately make different…
Having a SNORgasbord with your sweetie
You’ve been dating the same guy for a while. You’ve decided it is time to have a sleepover. You follow the rules set forth in “Sleepover do’s and don’ts.” You’re snuggled in his arms, loving the closeness. You begin to drift to slumberland until … he starts snoring in your ear. And not just a…
What’s your idea of boyfriend responsibilities?
“Boyfriend responsibilities” are not the same as “marital duties,” but the latter can be included in the former. My sweetie and I were discussing boyfriend responsibilities during his visit this week. After he returned home he apologized for not being more cognizant of his boyfriend responsibilities. He knew my garage door opener needed a minor…
Do your friends birddog for you?
By “birddog” I am not referring to Labrador Retrievers, English Pointers, or German Shorthaired Pointers. However, I am referring to their ability to find and point out what you are looking for. The verb “birddog” is common in sales. When someone birddogs for you, s/he is providing you leads to prospects. When I was president…
Makeover miracle worker
Sometimes in dating we begin to doubt our attractiveness, especially if we have a series of first dates and no second ones, or it seems difficult to get even a coffee date. I believe most women think they are plainer than they are, as I said in “You are (probably) more attractive than you think…
The date relationship test
I’ve discovered a key relationship test. This one is guaranteed to tell you what you need to know about your guy, so I recommend using this test early in the relationship to decide if you want to keep seeing him or not. What is the test? Picking a DVD together at Blockbuster. Why is this…