My friends at LifeTwo.com asked me to participate as one of five columnists in exercises for their “Happiness Week.” I’ve written about happiness in dating a few times: Do you know what will make you happy? Are you a happy dater? Let’s take a look at how we can meld things that make us happy…
Dating after 40
Should you state your dating goal even before meeting?
I just listened to the 4-CD seminar, “In Sync with the Opposite Sex™,” with Alison Armstrong. A close friend has attended a number of her seminars and highly recommends them, so I’ve been immersing myself in her work. This CD was recorded live, so you hear Alison’s fun presentation style and her wittily interacting with…
What’s your need for affiliation?
A friend shared with me the concept of people having different needs for affiliation — how much “people contact” they need. As you would guess, some have a very low need for affiliation — someone like the Unabomber who is content to live like a hermit with human contact only a few times a year,…
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Otis Redding wrote it. Aretha Franklin belted it. The song says all the writer/singer wants is respect from his/her partner. Just a little respect. Have you ever felt someone you were dating for a while didn’t respect you? Maybe he chastised you, second guessed you or told you your actions or decisions were wrong? Or…
Try a heart share
A common complaint from women is they can’t get their guy to open up — to share his innermost thoughts, fears, and dreams. This is difficult to do for many people, women as well as men. During my marriage, I learned a technique that made it easier to be vulnerable and talk about things that…
Are you open to receiving?
Do you think of yourself as feminine? When I hear that word, I think of the terms usually used to define the word: delicacy, prettiness, sensitivity, gentleness, compassion. I conjure up an image of a demure, eyelash-batting, quiet girl/woman wearing pink lace and crinolines. A la Melanie Hamilton, Scarlet’s rival in “Gone With the Wind.”…
Why listening is so seductive
The man I started seeing a few weeks ago told me about a woman in a weekly group activity he attends who has become enamored with him and it makes him uncomfortable. When I asked what makes it uncomfortable he said, “I’m not at all attracted to her. She’s too effusive. She is always telling…
Understanding the stage your guy is in
Review of Keys to the Kingdom by Alison Armstrong Ms. Armstrong began her study of what makes men tick in 1991 and her staff gives “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®” workshops around the country. Her focus is on creating peace and partnership between men and women. She shares some of her findings in her novel, Keys…
The flirt-talk continuum
I’ve noticed that flirt-talk typically starts out innocently — you share things you like about the other, compliment him/her, tell him/her you think s/he’s cute, sexy or a catch, comment that you’re looking forward to talking/seeing him/her again. In person this is coupled with smiles, laughter, perhaps light touches and other body language to show…
Blog mysteriously down
If you came to Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 yesterday, you noticed my blog was down for a “violation of service terms.” I read the terms carefully, and couldn’t see where I had gone astray. There was no email warning. Just poof — the site is down! WordPress’s customer service is closed on Sunday….
Lessons from a bad date
Once in a while, when you spin the dating wheel, it stops on “Bad Date.” Of course you don’t know this going into the date. And luckily, my experience is it only happens about 10% of the time. But tonight I landed smack dab in the middle of that slot. Since it doesn’t happen often,…