DG reader Gayle wrote: I was dating a man, then he quit his job of twenty years and seemed overwhelmed with stuff in his life. However, he kept assuring me we were fine. For months we talked every day — we knew exactly when to get a hold of each other. We had no secrets….
Tag: online dating advice
Is it persuasion, manipulation or enticement?
Persuasion: a means of persuading someone to do something Manipulate: control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously Entice: attract or tempt by offering pleasure or advantage Yesterday, I was accused of trying to manipulate someone. It threw me for a loop as that was 180% opposite of my intention. Truth be…
Skanks-R-Us
You’ve been dating for a while. You’ve had lots of first dates that didn’t evolve to seconds. So your dating numbers seem high to those who’ve been out of the dating scene for years. To them any number over 10 seems outrageous if you exclude anything before age 30.
Should you take him back?
DG reader AG writes: I recently dated a guy for a few months but then we had a falling out. We tried to discuss it by email and phone since we were both traveling and we couldn’t meet face-to-face. We set a time in a few days to meet to discuss if we should continue….
Review of “Why Hasn’t He Called?”
Having caught myself checking my cell phone a bit too obsessively looking to see if a guy has called or texted, I thought Why Hasn’t He Called would help me gain some perspective. The married-couple coauthors, Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal, share the men’s and women’s view, respectively. Matt gives an inside look at what…
Review of “The Spiritual Rules of Engagement”
Many of us gagged upon reading the manipulative games touted in The Rules. We yearned to be authentic with the men we dated, but found that by sharing our feelings toward a man too early, he went poof. We never knew if it was out of fear or boredom that the chase was over. Enter…
Are you making bad decisions out of loneliness?
Nearly every unpartnered person gets lonely sometimes. If you long for more social interaction, you will do nearly anything to connect with other human beings. I think it’s why so many people hang out in bars, Starbucks, or the library. (See “What’s your ‘need for affiliation’?“) I didn’t understand why anyone could get any work…
What’s your relationship recovery time?
“Recovery time” is however long it takes one to return to normal after an event. Whether it’s the time it takes an athlete’s body to return to normal heart rate or hydration after a grueling event, or someone’s return to health after a setback. Or how long it takes for someone to recover after a…
Where’s the line between getting your needs met and being selfish?
Midlife daters generally have experience in relationships, and thus negotiating solutions to different relationship desires. However, if you have been unpartnered for a number of years, you are probably used to getting what you want because you haven’t had to take an adult partner’s desires into account. So let’s say you (or your guy) want…
He wants to get sexual — online!
A DG reader writes: This has happened a few times so am wondering if it is just me, or is common with midlife guys — or just midlife guys on online dating sites. We begin a fun banter via email or IM. I don’t get dirty with them, just playful. Some time passes — anywhere…
He’s broken up with you — he just didn’t tell you
My guy pals have told me that men are emotional cowards. They’d rather walk barefoot over broken glass than do something that would make a woman cry. Thus their preference for going poof rather than tell you they have changed their mind. A year ago I was interviewed by the Wall Street Journal for a…