40+ dating

This was the first question asked by the radio host in a recent interview.

I paused to consider my answer.

After dating for a while, you refine what you want and don’t want in your next relationship. Your criteria get clearer and you get more certain about what will make you happy. Often these criteria include a person’s physical characteristics like height, or location or age range. I have clarified my criteria over the years and now rarely deviate from them.

But every once in a while a man enters the scene who doesn’t meet one of my must-haves.  Perhaps he’s an inch shorter than me so I relax my “must be at least my height” rule. Or perhaps he lives beyond an hour’s drive. Or he’s out of my 7 year+/- age range. He has other unique alluring characteristics that entice me to make an exception.  

However I’ve never bent the rules for more than one must-have.

Until now.

Ten years ago today my husband of 20 years announced he didn’t want to be married anymore. I took it hard.

I now call that day “The Great Awakening.”

It seems that everyone dreams of winning the lottery, imagining all the things they’d do, buy, or donate to if they became a millionaire. In fact, some women (and men) blatantly say that they want to marry a millionaire.

You can tell a lot about a person by how generous he is not only with money, but with effort and spirit. Sometimes a person can be generous with words of acknowledgement but nothing else. Sometimes it’s the reverse.

They’d been dating regularly for 4 months, even taking a 4-day vacation together. My gal pal kept telling me what a nice guy he was — very thoughtful bringing her little presents every time he saw her. They became intimate early on. She liked him and enjoyed his company, but wasn’t smitten by him.

Listen to the interview of DG with Dawn Wright-de Brantes on the Dash Radio.

That phrase can have two interpretations — one bad and one good. “He’s up to something” can mean something bad, like “He’s up to no good.”

Listen to DG being interviewed by Dave Gordon on the Eargasm radio show.

Along with Dr. Ruth!

Recently, I've been interviewed by two media sources.   * Listen to a recent interview of me by RelationshipAdviceCafe.com (right-click to download to your computer). * Also on Money For…