online dating book for women over 40

I once read a study’s findings that men who were married/partnered in midlife and older lived longer than men who weren’t. The researchers explanation? That if a man has a physical ailment, he’ll let it go, not wanting to see a doctor, thinking it will clear up on it’s own. If he lives with a woman who knows about the malady, she insists (nags?) him to see the doctor. Thus, ailments that would get worse in time are nipped in the bud and healed.

As we get older, many of us develop bad habits (like thinking something will clear up on its own). If we live by ourselves, or with a non-friend or non-relative roommate, or have friends that aren’t very forthcoming to give us feedback, it’s easy to start doing things that are unacceptable to others but we think are normal.

This is why some people are in the “undateable” category, no matter how smart or nice they may be.

This weekend while traveling I spent time with a gal pal. (I was staying at a hotel nicknamed "The Beau"! How fitting!). We were bemoaning our past relationships and how…

I was asked to contribute five of my best tips for dating after 40 to the new compilation eBooklet, "Tips, Tools, and Resources for the Second Half of Life." This…

Today, a question from a reader:

“I’ve been seeing a guy for 6 months and we still can’t get farther than a quick peck on the lips or a quick impersonal hug. I’ve told him I want more intimacy but still nothing. What should I do?”

In my five-plus years of dating, I’ve connected with thousands of men from various dating sites. Some have only been through email, others progressed to a phone call, and I’ve actually met face-to-face with 101 of them.

I’ve never run into any of the ones who didn’t make it to the coffee date.

Until today.

After several months of daily conversations and a few in-person dates, this out-of-state suitor shared his sentiment. I felt complimented, but at the same time quizzical.

I appreciated that he frequently sought and took my business counsel. But it made me think that he didn’t value a wife very highly. It stalled my desire to take our relationship to the next level. If it weren’t for my business acumen, would he respect me? Would he only engage my opinion if it were business related, and not about other aspects of our relationship?

A friend told me he’s going to buy a house with “Francine,” a woman he’s been seeing for a few years.

“Great!” I said. “You haven’t cohabited with anyone for a long time, so this will be quite a change for you.”

“No. I’ll buy it with her and stay there sometimes, but I’ll keep my place.”

“Really? Why?”

It continually amazes me to hear the comments some men make during the pre-date stage. You would think they would focus on putting their best foot forward, thinking about how they want to make a great impression.

But no.

• You glimpse a man who looks strikingly like a past love.

• In front of you at Starbucks stands a guy wearing your former sweetie’s cologne.

• The song plays on the radio that you slow-danced to with your ex, naked in front of the fire on New Year’s Eve.

Our Valentine’s contest judges found it difficult to choose a winner because there were so many good entries. I wish I had more prizes to award! I’m sure there will be other contests in the future as I seem to now be getting a regular stream of prize offerings.