older women dating younger men

A friend invited me to lunch with her and her 62-year-old sister. “Sis” is dating, although she admitted to only having one date a year, so I use the term “dating” loosely.

Sis shared about her one 2009 date. She’d met the guy online, talked a few times by email and phone, and felt they had enough in common to meet for lunch. Their conversation began pleasantly, until about 20 minutes passed when he said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I don’t sleep with women on the first date.”

In the early getting-to-know you stage of dating, it’s not unusual for there to be some miscommunication. However, how one handles these hiccups tells you a lot about the person’s thinking. This is a good thing, as if their thinking is 180-degrees off from yours, you learn early that you aren’t a match.

Today I received a call from a nice potential suitor, with whom I’d exchanged a few emails and had a good, lengthy first call last week. He is intelligent, a good conversationalist, articulate, and clear on what he’s looking for. At the end of that first conversation, he said he liked our conversation very much and wanted to meet me in the next few weeks when he visits some clients in my area, a 2-hour drive from him.

Dear readers: I was asked to write an article for a publication about 10 tips on how to be successful in dating after 40, so thought I’d share it with you all, too.

You’ve been single for a while. You would like to have a special man in your life. But how?

Women reentering the dating scene after a long absence need to first examine if they are ready to date again. After all, not only is there the possibility of being swept off your feet by a romantic, loving man, there’s the chance of being swept over the cliff of heartbreak. Here are some tips on how to ensure you enjoy your adventure of dating after 40, not dread the next coffee date.

Junk in the trunk. Flat. Round. Taut. Soft. Sagging. Dimpled. Some have shelves on the top, others underneath. You could bounce a quarter off a few. So many sizes and shapes.

Songs have been written about buns. “Baby’s got back” is a high compliment in some circles.

People can be derrière devotees. Caboose connoisseurs. Ass aficionados.

My 55-year-old successful gal pal was recounting her 5-year dating experience. She bemoaned her encounters with men who were not comparable economically or emotionally. It is a common lament for successful midlife women. The wail is, “Where are the men like us?”

Have you considered how much testosterone impacts our dating lives? And for that matter, our lives in general? Since both men and women have testosterone, I was interested in Public Radio International’s “This American Life” show called “Testosterone” last year. It was a fascinating listen.

We just created a new video, "Avoiding Dud Dates After 40" based on real-life experiences I've had with men -- before I even met them! We tried to make t…

A gal pal recently asked me why I thought a man would go poof after expressing great interest in a woman. The obvious answers would be:

• he was a player and said he was very interested in every woman
• something happened for him to lose interest (e.g., she said/did something that was off-putting; he got more interested in someone else; he got busy with work).

However, I think there is another, less commonly discussed possibility:

I’ve been approached by the PR firm for the new movie “It’s Complicated” offering prizes for you, my readers! Additionally, the PR firm for K-Y Brand “Yours+Mine” and “Intense” personal lubricants offered prizes. Plus I’ll add copies of Date or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great? and some Flirt-O-Grams. So we are going to combine the prizes for the winners of the first Dating Goddess contest!

To follow the theme of the “It’s Complicated” movie, the contest will be for the best stories about attraction to a former love. You can write up to 500 words telling us the story of your attraction and what happened (please keep it clean). Write your entry here in a comment. Tell your friends!

The prizes are:

I mean this literally — not are you internally talking yourself out of going on a date.

For example, recently I had two conversations with a new guy. About 30 minutes into the second conversation, I said I needed to get back to work. He asked if I’d like to get together. I said, “Sure, we could meet for coffee. What part of town do you live in?”

He responded that he lived near an upscale shopping center that I like to frequent.

“Great. We could meet there.”

Got a midlife dater (or would-be dater) on your holiday gift list? Want something special that will add value to your loved one's life, not get shoved in a drawer…