online dating advice

He sent a beautiful bouquet for my birthday last month, arranging for its arrival the day I returned home from SE Asia. He’s accompanied me to dress-up events, donning his Armani tuxedo with pleasure. He’s the epitome of a gentleman at these events, offering his arm to escort me, taking my coat and fetching it from the coat check, holding my chair to seat me, making sure my drink is never low, dancing when I want and schmoozing with my business associates, even ones I know he doesn’t like. He keeps himself buff, is current on world affairs, is respected as a thought leader, is generous with charitable contributions.

So why isn’t he my full time beau?

This phrase doesn’t work in a job. So why do people think this concept will work in dating?

For example, it appears common thinking is:

The other day I fell in love.

I recently spent time with a long-married couple. Like nearly all long-term couples, they’ve developed habits they don’t even know they have. One of this couple’s favorite ones, it seems, is bickering over inconsequential details. For example, “We went shopping last Thursday…” “No, it was Wednesday.” “No, I’m sure it was Thursday.” Etc., etc., etc.

It got to the point where I could stand it no longer. I finally blurted out, “It really, really doesn’t matter what day it was.” That got them to move on.

You’ve heard of cops engaging in high-speed chases to catch criminals. Then OJ Simpson made the low-speed chase a new buzz word when he was avoiding arrest. The concept can be applied to dating, although it is not to avoid incarceration. It might be to avoid entanglement, but it also might be a sound strategy for engagement.

When two people get together too fast, the common advice is, “Slow down. Get to know each other.” Yet few of us heed this counsel.

I am in Brunei this week for a client. “Where is Brunei?” you may ask. On the north shore of the island of Borneo. It is beautiful, lush and tropical.

Have you ever been to an amazing place and wished you had a sweetie to share it with you? This is one of those places.

Women know that if a man doesn’t ask to spend time with her, he’s not that interested in her. We have learned some men appreciate when a woman suggests a first date, but what about other communication?

When he said he wanted to fly in to meet me, we didn’t intend for it to be a chaperoned event. But it ended up being one — with two  escorts!

Of course, each man has his own “type.” But the research shared in the Discovery Channel program, “The Science of Sex Appeal” gives us some generalizations.

A lot of people are feeling powerless lately — about their job security, their financial future, their retirement. Those of us who are dating are used to feeling powerless.